Navigating Our Changing Relationship with Death

As we navigate the modern world, it is surprising to observe how our relationship with death has changed.

Once a natural part of life that was openly acknowledged and part of daily existence, death has become this taboo subject that many don't want to talk about, leading to the saying "out of sight out of mind."

The Taboo of Death in Modern Society

To understand these changes, we have to look back at a time when death was not openly discussed but also commemorated in ways that may seem morbid by today’s standards. In the Victorian era, death was very prevalent due to epidemics, such as diphtheria and cholera, which claimed countless lives. This period saw the emergence of very elaborate mourning rituals. Mourning became a societal norm, and families found ways to memorialize their loved ones that might seem very odd to us now yet served as a reminder of how fragile life was then.

Victorian Mourning Practices

One of the most notable practices of the time was post-mortem photography. Families would pose with their deceased loved ones, capturing images that were meant to preserve what they looked like prior to death. From propping up the deceased for a family portrait, to painting open eyes on the photographs after development, these images were not merely morbid curiosities; although when looked at today, it is hard to fathum that they actually served as a way for families to process their grief. Infants, often appearing as though they were simply asleep, were photographed in lifelike poses, while young women who succumbed to illness were depicted with an eerie elegance.

For many, these photographs represented the last chance to hold onto a visual memory of a beloved and maintain a connection to those they lost.

The Shift Toward Death Denial

As medical advancements improved life expectancy and access to photography became easier. Families increasingly documented their lives while living, moving away from the practice of photographing the dead.  These changes marked the beginning of a broader trend toward death denial, where discussions on the topic of death became less common and often avoided altogether.

Fast forward, and we find ourselves struggling with the consequences of this. The modern funeral has transitioned from wakes in the home where the funeral director came to you, to more formal settings in funeral homes.

Death is often seen as something to be managed rather than a natural part of life.

The Rise of the Death Positive Movement

However, we are witnessing another change. A growing movement known as the "death positive" movement is starting conversations about death and dying. Universities such as Kings University College in London, Ontario, Canada, now offer a degree in Thanatology, providing structured education on topics such as grief, bereavement, and the psychological and social aspects of death.

This growing academic interest in death as a legitimate field of study shows that more people want to understand and accept mortality instead of shying away from it.

It encourages us to face our fears and uncertainties about dying.

By opening up conversations about end-of-life choices, grief, and what it means to die, we can shift back toward a society that embraces death as a natural part of life. This shift highlights the value of our connections, memories, and the celebration of life, even in tough times.

Ultimately, we often fear what we don't understand.