Living Well Until the End — What This Book Gets Right

Many of us imagine end-of-life conversations as distant or frightening. But A Beginner’s Guide to the End by B.J. Miller, MD, and Shoshana Berger offers something profoundly grounding. Their central message is simple and deeply human:

The goal isn’t simply to die well — it’s to live well up until the end.

Miller, a palliative-care physician, reminds us that dying isn’t a failure but a universal part of being alive. When we approach it with honesty and compassion, we don’t lose hope. Instead, we make more room for meaning, connection, and presence in the time that remains (Miller & Berger, 2019).

At This Thing Called Grief, we see this unfold in real lives every day. When families talk openly about their wishes, fears, and hopes, the urgency softens. When someone living with serious illness feels supported, they often experience a shift toward clarity, tenderness, and even humour. And even in deep sorrow, moments of love and connection still find their way in.

Living well until the end can look like choosing what matters most.

People often describe how, after a life-changing diagnosis, the smallest things become sacred: the sound of a loved one’s voice, the warmth of a pet curled at their feet, the familiar rhythm of a favourite place. Research shows that people nearing the end of life often shift toward present-focused meaning and emotional authenticity (Pinquart & Sörensen, 2003).

It can look like talking about wishes before a crisis.

Simple conversations about care preferences, legacy, or even favourite music ease anxiety and help families feel more prepared and connected (Detering et al., 2010). These conversations are rarely morbid; more often, they bring a sense of relief.

It can look like easing the burden on those we love.

Miller and Berger offer guidance on wills, digital accounts, memorial preferences, and unfinished business. These practical steps are not cold or clinical. They are acts of care that allow loved ones to focus on grieving rather than scrambling with details.

It can also look like making room for joy and humour, even in illness.

People continue to love, argue, connect, and find beauty right until the end. Preserving identity, dignity, and relational closeness supports emotional well-being throughout serious illness (Chochinov, 2002).

Whether we are grieving, caregiving, or navigating illness ourselves, this book invites a gentle question:

What might living well look like today?

Grief work is not only about loss. It is about making life more bearable, more connected, and sometimes more meaningful in the midst of loss.

If you or someone you care about is grieving, feeling overwhelmed by loss, or navigating the emotional weight of illness or caregiving, our grief counsellors are here to support you. You do not have to navigate this alone.

The University of Western Ontario Research and Development Park

100 Collip Circle, Suite 245, London, ON

thisthingcalledgrief@gmail.com

A small conversation can make a meaningful difference.

References

Chochinov, H. M. (2002). Dignity-conserving care: A new model for palliative care. JAMA, 287(17), 2253–2260.

Detering, K. M., Hancock, A. D., Reade, M. C., & Silvester, W. (2010). The impact of advance care planning on end-of-life care. BMJ, 340, c1345.

Miller, B. J., & Berger, S. (2019). A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death. Simon & Schuster.

Pinquart, M., & Sörensen, S. (2003). Differences between caregivers and noncaregivers in psychological and physical health. Psychology and Aging, 18(2), 250–267.