Finding Strength Through Trauma

The true power of lived experiences lies in their ability to transform us. During moments of intense pain and struggle, it often feels as though survival is beyond reach, and the burden of the experience seems insurmountable. Yet, the reality is that not only do you survive these hardships and traumas, but you can emerge stronger and more resilient, with a new sense of purpose.

This journey equips you with genuine empathy—a depth of understanding and compassion that cannot be found from textbooks or absorbed in a lecture hall.

True empathy is born from enduring unimaginable pain, and it allows you to connect with and support others in ways that are both profound and deeply meaningful. Your lived experiences shape you into a beacon of hope and understanding for those who walk similar paths, proving that even in the darkest moments, there is potential for growth and the emerging transformation into a stronger, more compassionate self.

These hardships and traumas have brought me to this place in my life where I feel I can offer individuals grief support from a first-person perspective—not because I read about it in a book, but because I have felt the pain.

As someone once so elegantly put it in their 8-year-old dialect, “you felt the feels.” I have definitely felt the feels. All those emotions that come with loss and grief don’t disappear. They are very much like the physical scars left behind after a wound has healed.

At times throughout my life, I have asked the question, “Why me?”

• When my fiancé suddenly died, I asked, “Why me?”
• When part of his family rifled through our belongings, taking anything not nailed down, I asked, “Why me?”
• Years later, when I remarried and we spent years struggling with infertility, I asked, “Why me?”
• When our 16-month-old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I asked, “Why me?”
• When our surprise pregnancy decided to arrive a month early in the middle of our daughter’s chemotherapy treatments, I asked, “Why me?”
• When someone tried to carjack me, I asked, “Why me?”

First off, why not me? I wasn’t special. It certainly seems disproportionate compared to 99% of anyone I know, but life deals its cards, and for me, I feel fortunate to have been there.

For example, you probably don’t know anyone who has randomly found someone in need of CPR while out doing errands—me! Twice! On two separate occassions, I have performed CPR on strangers, both of whom most likely would have died had I not been there. These events and many other lived experiences have led to a running “Only Kim” thread with friends and family, often comical at my expense, which I can usually find funny too.

Another important realization here is that it is usually not just happening to me!

When my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, it ripped through our family, each of us affected in different ways and in different areas. The same can be said when our son was born prematurely. Having two children in the Pediatric Critical Care Unit fighting for their lives - I can still see my husband’s face, trying as hard as he could to disguise his true feelings for me and our children.

Childhood cancer is all-encompassing and equally devastating for my husband, who, looking back, received little support during that life-changing time.

I think of it like a quilt, all these lived experiences woven together to make me who I am today. These experiences provide me with the ability to offer support to others through an empathetic lens. My hope is that those in need of someone to listen, someone to validate their feelings, will reach out rather than sit with their emotions alone. Everyone needs someone to talk to when going through something difficult, and if that person has true empathy for what you are going through, even better.

I am looking forward to working with you, and together we can navigate the pain, find purpose, and build a stronger, more compassionate self. Connect with me here.